lgbt

Lord of the Butterflies by Andrea Gibson | Review

aquapages // eline4 Comments

Pages: 96

Genre: poetry, lgbt

Synopsis

In Andrea Gibson’s latest collection, they continue their artful and nuanced looks at gender, romance, loss, and family. Each emotion here is deft and delicate, resting inside of imagery heavy enough to sink the heart, while giving the body wings to soar.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

Be prepared to cry, I was definitely not and it took reading three poems for my eyes to start leaking, until I was a sobbing mess. This is what I want poetry to be, I was thinking over and over. I’d just put down another poetry collection that had important themes, but nothing new to convey, even through tough circumstances. Andrea Gibson is the opposite of that, they write poetry so filled with emotion that you can touch it, feel it around yourself.

It’s just such a strange mix of sweet, with stories of queer love, of incredibly traumatic events, with stories of being suicidal or loss, of hoplessness and hope as well. All the stories they had to tell got to me, especially of physical illness as it’s the one I’m most familiar with. One of personal goals this year is to find a better way to describe physical pain, which this did so incredibly well, along with emotional one. The stories are told in such a detailed and personal way, but at the same time putting words to more common emotions and situations brilliantly.

All my love to this poetry collection, I’ve definitely found a poet that will become one of my favourite. I’ll make sure to see it performed as spoken word pieces when I’m having a stable, good day because it took me thirty seconds out of five minutes to completely break down sobbing.

I received a copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Favourite quotes

“You’re in the 7th grade. You don’t even know you want a girlfriend. You still believe in the people who believe in Jesus, can’t even feel that desire through it’s hell threat.”

– YOUR LIFE by Andrea Gibson

[…] but secretly my favourite season is flu season. The season of proof that I’m tough as Christ forgiving the nails. The season everyone I love becomes a raging customer at the complaint counter of life, like their birth certificate were warranties, their bodies promised technology guaranteeing protection from all viruses. They break down, Nyquil drunk and say, I haven’t been able to exercise in three days. The last time I got the flu it took me three days to notice. I thought the pain was just the pain. […] Good god, there isn’t a healthy body in the world that is stronger than a sick person’s spirit. Thirty times last month I thought, I can’t do this another day. Thirty times last month I did it another day.”

– GENDER IS THE KEY OF LYME DISEASE by Andrea Gibson

“During the visit, my niece only broke once, and only when the guard rattled his keys and rushed her to finish hugging her mother, the nightstick of his voice cracking over their bleeding goodbye. I restrained my fist in my pocket but wanted to knock him back to his own mother’s arms, where he might grow into a man without a uniform over his chest.”

– BLACK AND WHITE ANGEL by Andrea Gibson

RESENTMENT (VERB)

1. Loading the past into a cannon and murder this year.

Also the poems IVY (with great last lines), PHOTOSHOPPING MY SISTER’S MUGSHOT, ORLANDO, HURT THE FLY, ALL THE GOOD IN YOU, GIVE HER (so damn sweet), UNTIL WE ACT, LIVING PROOF.

A Short Review & a DNF

aquapages // eline1 Comment

Glass Moon by Megan Pollak

In this minimal poetry collection, there’s a lot of talk about dreamy eyes and the moon and universe, but not in a way that make real connection to nature nor symbolic ones. It doesn’t really tell me anything or convey much emotion. I think those who would like it need to be in an identical mindset of the author, whatever that is I can’t quite tell. 2/5 stars. I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

What if it’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

I had my hopes up for this book because I’d heard it was a fluffy gay romance that a lot of people loved. The thing I realized is that I’m not a romance reader for a reason – the fact that it’s a much needed cute non-heterosexual romance made me get probably halfway in this book, which is further than I thought. I like these fluffy queer romances in between my action, a whole book is apparently too much for me, I’ve realized. I recommend it if you’re looking for a fluffy, cute, every-day romance that describes summer New York days and small concerns like summer school, exes and a row of not-ideal first dates that doesn’t stop this romance.  no rating because it obviously was just not for me 


The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo | Review

aquapages // eline8 Comments

Pages: 390

Genre: fiction, lgbt characters

 

Synopsis

Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. But when she chooses unknown magazine reporter Monique Grant for the job, no one is more astounded than Monique herself. Why her? Why now?

Monique is not exactly on top of the world. Her husband has left her, and her professional life is going nowhere. Regardless of why Evelyn has selected her to write her biography, Monique is determined to use this opportunity to jumpstart her career.

Summoned to Evelyn’s luxurious apartment, Monique listens in fascination as the actress tells her story. From making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the ’80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way, Evelyn unspools a tale of ruthless ambition, unexpected friendship, and a great forbidden love. Monique begins to feel a very real connection to the legendary star, but as Evelyn’s story near its conclusion, it becomes clear that her life intersects with Monique’s own in tragic and irreversible ways.

Written with Reid’s signature talent for creating “complex, likable characters” (Real Simple?, this is a mesmerizing journey through the splendor of old Hollywood into the harsh realities of the present day as two women struggle with what it means -and what it costs- to face the truth.

The audiobook

Evelyn Hugo sounds just like a movie star. Monique is done by another narrator and they both do a really good job. It really made the story come alive, like Evelyn was telling her own biography, and Monique’s thoughts on it.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

fem

Evelyn Hugo, the movie star, was such an interesting character, especially seen through the journalist Monique’s eyes. She’s into playing games, and it has gotten her far in her life, as she’s gotten out of poverty and into mansions. This book brings up ideas around power, it has all the glam of a 1950’s star, but also a lot of moral dilemmas as Evelyn talks about the decisions she’s made in her life and how she rarely regrets them, even those with huge consequences. I really liked her friend-group/family she built up, really this book turned from ambition to impotance of community and love. Of how to deal with loss. And queer characters and love!

“It’s always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that is beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly.” 

The story itself seems so real, several times I went to google Evelyn Hugo, to find out a piece of info, before realizing that of course, she was fictional. While I liked Monique, the character, I didn’t care for her descriptions of her own life. It’s less spectacular than Evelyn’s, sure, but there’s ways to find joy even in a “normal” life. The miserable soon-to-be divorced journalist negative view of herself storyline is quite boring and I didn’t get it. The twist of the story blew me away. I didn’t see it coming at all, and it made the entire story make sense, every doubt Monique had, was cleared up.

It’s a fictional biography of a fictional 1950’s movie stars life, and it does it so spectacularly well, making quite an impact on me. This book also encourages you to take more of the opportunities you get, to not be so timid about ambition. I don’t think it’s the right way to look at life, putting your needs before everyone else, but it’s one that should be considered in more situations, especially by women in careers.  

SPOILERY Review: An Absolutely Remakable Thing by Hank Green

aquapages // eline3 Comments

So I wrote another spoiler-free review here, where I gave the book five out of five stars. I’ve never made two parts reviews, but I really want to geek out over this book honestly.

So I just listened to an interview by Hank where he said the book was born out around a lot of individual scenes and trying to write a story around them, especially the grape jelly scene. Did he mean Carl making a person turn into grape jelly? Jeez. That’s a great way to start writing a book, and makes my ideas feel a bit more valid.

Anyway, here’s a lot of moments I liked:

  • “You’re a digital girl, April, in a digital world. We all know how to perform.” Already on page 10 I realized that Hank Green’s real life thoughts and concerns would slip through into the book in form of Andy’s bluntness.
  • Maya. All of Maya’s parts. That girl is awesome.
  • When “Don’t Stop Me Now” was first mentioned was when I realized I would have a lot of songs stuck in my brain reading this book. The wikipedia puzzle was creative.
  •  “So here’s a really stupid thing about the world: The trick to looking cool is not caring whether you look cool. So the moment you achieve perfect coolness is simultaneously the moment that you actually, completely don’t care.” I need more time to consider the degree of truth to that. I have a few friends that have become models, they’re also the people that look cool in everyday normal and weird circumstances. They do also seem to care very much. But I get what April’s thinking.
  • April ruining every relationship and “isolating yourself from the love of other humans because of deep, subconscious fears that you are unable to recognize even exist.” and still realizing it. I’ve seen a lot of readers say that they didn’t like her as a person, while many also saying she’s a great character, but I have to disagree. A girl that can fuck up this much and still be aware of it. I had to consider it, but I definitely like her. The internal monologue lists are great and fit with the direct writing style really well, btw.
  • Here’s the first moment I adored: Maya’s no-bullshit reaction when April is purposely distancing herself from her. That “oh, fuck you, April” moment. Wouldn’t have thought of it so highly if I realized we wouldn’t see much of Maya for a while thought. Just wanted her to stick up for herself.
  • The mom’s point of how the dreams could’ve changed people more than they think. That would’ve been a different book if it went down that path, but it really stuck with me and my suspicion for the rest of the book.
  • April feeling burned out and going on “temporary fuel” with cool things happening until the growing hate for Peter became that long-burning fuel and motivation. It’s so dangerous, but I understand too well what she’s doing.
  • Second moment I adored: Miranda taking on the role as CEO of a tech start-up. The idea of the start-up was amazing, with everyone collaborating online on this dream and puzzle they all was given and had equal access to and could prove themselves against. But reading about Miranda, who April had described as pretty shy and smart until then, taking on such a leader role made me appreciate them both. And realize how unreliable April’s narrative is.
  • “One plus of the Dream was that if I stayed in it all night and didn’t wake up, I’d stay out of my nightmares.” OOoff, that hit me.
  • Was concerned for a bit there if Hank Green was going to write a lesbian sex scene and how much I would laugh out loud and cringe at it. The solution seemed like the most Hank thing to do and I laughed anyway.
  • All the pages with messages of what people in power can do faced with uncertainty and ignorance. Of groups moving towards the poles and becoming more radical, and how that happens.
  • When Carl was revealed to be sentient and understand April I was excited. When he didn’t want to be taken pictures of I died laughing for some reason. I just like the surrealness of things like robot hands running around, saving people like superheroes.
  • April’s description – without emotions at the most intense moments. Like she can show frustration talking about “minor” daily life issues, but when she was stabbed she’s describing her scream as awful enough that they had to cut it out of the tape and goes on to describe the mic. The switch happened regularly, really brought out different sides in her.
  • April’s perspective is really interesting because I didn’t realize just how big of a star she’d become before the president told her how it would be a joy to watch her big future.
  • Seeing your own faults and behaviour through other’s eyes suck and it’s part of why April is running from Maya I guess. Relatable.
  • “Call Me Maybe” started playing, I squealed with glee and horror. I love the pop teen songs in this. My heart. They sound so omnious too.
  • I was aware she would die, she says so early on in the book. p.16’s “That night was probably the best night’s sleep I had until after I died.” Which hints that there was a thing after she died as well, so I kept my hopes up
  • Ok, my love for Maya was strengthened by the fact that she had to go on a pilgrimage after April’s accident. And even more Andy staying. Aahh, I really liked these characters.

There’s a sequel coming being currently written, which I didn’t know going into it. The ending was very open, but I had no problem with it. If there was no sequel, I would’ve taken my immediate theory of  April being uploaded to a computer-mind of sorts. That she still lives, but outside of a body. I don’t know if there’s evidence of that yet as I haven’t read theories. Also I’m not sure that she’s completely herself towards the end. I feel there might’ve been a shift, of Carl taking more control or sharing more with her or maybe just more a natural “losing herself”, but haven’t looked too much into it yet.

I loved it: An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green | Review

aquapages // eline8 Comments

Pages: 350

Genre: contemporary, sci-fi

Synopsis

The Carls just appeared. Coming home from work at three a.m., twenty-three-year-old April May stumbles across a giant sculpture. Delighted by its appearance and craftsmanship–like a ten-foot-tall Transformer wearing a suit of samurai armor–April and her friend Andy make a video with it, which Andy uploads to YouTube. The next day April wakes up to a viral video and a new life. News quickly spreads that there are Carls in dozens of cities around the world–everywhere from Beijing to Buenos Aires–and April, as their first documentarian, finds herself at the center of an intense international media spotlight.

Now April has to deal with the pressure on her relationships, her identity, and her safety that this new position brings, all while being on the front lines of the quest to find out not just what the Carls are, but what they want from us.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

fem

SPOILER-FREE, i’ve written an entire post filled with spoilers *here*.

I managed to have no expectations going into this book even though I’ve watched vlogbrothers for years. I really really liked this book. Whatever concerns I had of it being a bad choice to have the main characters be a young adult, was completely erased without a couple ten pages. I was drawn into this book extremely quickly and it has become one of this year’s favourites.

It’s a great mix of sci-fi elements put into our real world, with massive robots showing up all over. This book is also about the story of fame told through the eyes of one building her career on a viral hit of “discovering” these robots, which she calls Carl, and putting it on youtube. There’s also critical thoughts around society and community as everyone tries to figure out the mystery behind these robots and cooperate with varying degrees of success to unlock their riddles. It mirrors my concerns about what fame might do, how it changes one’s values and interactions when millions of people are interested in following a person. There’s a unique realness Hank brings into it, being in that world himself and surely having seen friends struggle with these questions.

The writing is very-straight forward and clear, it’s the storytelling that’s mostly the focus. April’s voice seems very true to me, a nineteen year old girl. I liked that she was bisexual in the way that it was one of many traits she had. I’ve watched a lot of youtube. But I’ve always had this line where I realize that everyone’s real people, with insecurities and talents. The internet makes so many forget that, somehow. This book still made me question the cycle of internet celebrities (fuck the name influencers, honestly) posting instagrams to gain attentions and followers and it so easily turning into a vicious cycle of preying on people’s insecurities or paying attention to destructive behavior. On social media, every crisis can gain you a bigger following, and this book has plenty of commentary on that.

I do like all the characters, Maya above everyone else because she’s badass and also sees April as a real person. Miranda the scientist was really fantastic as well. Andy, April’s partner (in crime fame) was the voice of reason sometimes, with a much needed caution. I liked April, which I wouldn’t had if I knew her in real life. She’s a great character, because she’s dimentional and you get to see her thought process changing. Like how can you not like a girl that can fuck up this much and still be self-aware about it. The internal monologue lists are great and fit with the direct writing style really well.

I just loved a lot of parts, but it’s so easy to spoil this book, which is why I for the first time split the spoilers up into a seperate post. It’s absolutely worth a read (or three honestly), I don’t think you will regret it!

I Was Born for This by Alice Oseman | Review

aquapages // eline12 Comments

Pages: 400

Genre: contemporary young adult, lgbt characters

 

Synopsis

Angel Rahimi does not know what she wants to do with her life, but she knows she loves The Ark, a famous pop-rock trio boyband. She’s very involved with the fandom, which is seen to have its positive and negative sides as we also experience Jimmy Kaga-Ricci’s opinions about it. He’s one of the members of the trio boyband, playing with his childhood friends. The music is what makes him like it, being on stage and performing. But he can’t go out on the street alone without being assaulted by fangirls, he barely have any free-time with their busy schedule and his anxities are getting worse as he feels his privacy is invaded. When they started to get popular he was accidentally outed as trans, so he knows a couple things about privacy concerns. His dream has turned into the beginning of a nightmare, caging him in. Angel and Jimmy is forced to figure out the balance together, as one helps the other.

 

The Audiobook

There’s two narrators for the two different main characters, Angel and Jimmy. I really liked both of them, the accents were lovely, but sometimes they got on my nerves as well which was strange. Jimmy’s narrator voices all the guys though, and the voice he gave Mac (a minor character) is the most douchy and annoying voice, which made me laugh and grin my teeth together at the same time. Didn’t surprise me when he was starting to act a bit douchy as well, it fit well.

 

My thoughts

Rating out of five: four

fire

“Most adults see teenagers as confused kids who don’t understand much, while they’re the pillars of knowledge and experience and know exactly what is right at all times.
I think the truth is that everyone in the entire world is confused and nobody understands much of anything at all.”

Writing books about internet and fan-culture seem to be a difficult thing based on the books I’ve read that has gotten it wrong. There’s many reasons for that, most of all how fast it’s changing, making it difficult to capture even one particular moment in time. Alice Oseman does it so well, describing it as well as dvelving deeper into the pros and cons of idolizing groups and celebrities and how much space and influence to give them in our own personal lives. And she does all this in anentertaining way! Alice has some really on-point thoughts on it, with different sides conveyed through Jimmy and his other bandmates Rowan and Lister, along with their “biggest” fans Angel and Juliet.

idolization

I’ve always had a difficult time idolizing people, like I’ve always known that on some general level all those people have flaws as well. Also I’m very scared about meeting people I look up to, in case I have to experience those flaws first-hand. I’ve not been a big fan of artists, even though I wished I was at times. The community I saw friends building, bonding over their favourites, going out and promoting their records, waiting in line for their concert. All this is things Angel would do, and during this book she goes out of her way to help the guys of her favourite band. To an almost comical degree, because she finds herself in weird situations with them. But it wasn’t unrealistic enough to break the fun it was to see these characters interact and the questions, prejudices and reactions they all had to each other. Angel and Jimmy especially had some hilarious and cringy scenarios together, where the characters goes a bit meta and describes how much it’s seeming to turn into a fanfic, but it’s always done cleverly and tastefully.

characters & plot

Through this light and fun story Alice serves, there’s also greater themes pointing to internet and fandom culture, as well as indentity and how we might use things we enjoy both to escape and to connect with others. There’s always lines between interests being healthy and unhealthy, losing yourself in it. Still, I did not appreciate Jimmy’s grandpa telling Alice how things were and that she needed to focus more on herself and stop thinking she was in love with the guys from the band. Okay, some of it made sense, but when he started his speech I realized how much Alice grew on me through the book. I didn’t like Jimmy very much, I thought he should’ve reached more out to his friends, but I also wanted to defend his anxiety and the need of a good support system, which none of them had. So there’s proof that he had his place in this story as well. They all did. I thought I knew where this book was headed for a while, but the ending was a (kind of) pleasant surprise.

Feelings I had reading this book: enjoyed it, clapping my hands at the well-written characters and their personal struggles coming to terms with their popularity or identity, want to read more Alice Oseman books right away

 

The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness | Review

aquapages // eline3 Comments

Pages: 320

Genre: contemporary young adult, lgbt characters

Synopsis

What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death?

What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again.

Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world, and sometimes you just have to find the extraordinary in your ordinary life.

Even if your best friend is worshipped by mountain lions.

The Audiobook

Narrated by James Fouhey, which had a good and fitting voice. It was just good in general.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: four 

fire

“Not everyone has to be the Chosen One. Not everyone has to be the guy who saves the world. Most people just have to live their lives the best they can, doing things that are great for them, having great friends, trying to make their lives better, loving people properly. All the while knowing that the world makes no sense but trying to find a way to be happy anyway.”

It’s a good read if you don’t go into it expecting a fantasy story. You get a “normal” coming of age story, of a teenage boy Mikey who are worried about what to do after high school, but mostly just trying to survive the year. Aren’t we all? (Like seriously, I have nine long months left). It’s definitely a surreal experience reading Mikey’s description of the special “indie” kids (aka with powers) disappearing and dying in the fight against monsters and green lights. It’s explained by a clear separation between who is a indie kid, one of the heroes of a regular fantasy novel, and who is the cilivians. His town is definitely a warzone. And as a reader you just have to go with it, to not ask too many questions or it will fall apart.

I don’t know what I think about a book where asking to many questions about their situation will dig enough plot holes until it’s mostly holes and not much left to enjoy. I feel like Patrick Ness often seem to keep to the line of “is this real or the main character’s imagination” until about half the book has passed, when action start to set in. Still, I couldn’t stop myself asking questions. Like why don’t they move out of town, if it’s overrun by monsters? Why haven’t they found weapons that work? Lots of these questions aren’t even asked in the book, the reason I suppose is that Mikey isn’t a part of that world. But he is, constantly seeing and choosing to ignore or investigate it. They all are, which makes it interesting.

The balance between having a normal highschool life – being with friends, parties, schoolwork, drama, relationships – and the monsters wrecking shit in town and endagering humans is a really funny and heartwrenching one. It’s a bit too relatable, as while I was reading it dealing with major health concerns that come in like one of those monsters. A lot of this book is about contrast and responsibility. While the basic plot of the friendgroup was enjoyable, with camping and relationship and friend drama, everything else brought added dimension, perspective and funny satire of the stereotypical fantasy hero novel. For example, the “indie” kids have apparantly chosen, maybe just been born for, fighting against the monsters alone. They insist that it’s their job, and the civilians are happy to comply.

Last thing worth mentioning is the vivid descriptions of Mikey’s anxieties and OCD, I haven’t read many books about it, but he describes being trapped in thoughts and actions and it seems very real. It does not help having anxiety that feels like something bad is going to happen soon, when monsters are roaming, but that seems to be the point.

Feelings I had reading this book: trying to survive the schoolyear is relatable af, i also want to go camping with friends (it’s never supposed to go well is it?) … also sometimes monsters has to be talked about and dealt with i guess?

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman | Review

aquapages // eline12 Comments

Pages: 400

Genre: young adult contemporary, lgbt

The norwegian cover.

Synopsis

What if everything you set yourself up to be was wrong?

Frances has always been a study machine with one goal, elite university. Nothing will stand in her way; not friends, not a guilty secret – not even the person she is on the inside.

But when Frances meets Aled, the shy genius behind her favourite podcast, she discovers a new freedom. He unlocks the door to Real Frances and for the first time she experiences true friendship, unafraid to be herself. Then the podcast goes viral and the fragile trust between them is broken.

Caught between who she was and who she longs to be, Frances’ dreams come crashing down. Suffocating with guilt, she knows that she has to confront her past…

She has to confess why Carys disappeared…

Meanwhile at uni, Aled is alone, fighting even darker secrets.

It’s only by facing up to your fears that you can overcome them. And it’s only by being your true self that you can find happiness.

Frances is going to need every bit of courage she has.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

fem

I loved this book, it’s going to be one of this year favourites and be reread many times. It made a bold choice, like Oseman seem to do, in placing the book in this decade and referencing movies and popculture. It also brings out very time-defining characteristics like questioning sexuality through research, celebrities, rise of podcasts, internet and fandoms. Most of all this book is about wanting to be heard, to be seen for who you are. Which is easier with the help and support of friends.

the characters & writing

None of the characters are always in the right, which is always interesting. The main character Frances tries her best, I would say, but at one point she realizes she hasn’t been paying enough attention to the people around her and their struggles. The writing seems very honest, it’s very straight forward as well. Carys, the bestfriend, is going through shit and Frances tells that story in between the right-now action of Frances and Carys’ brother Aled starting to get along and find shared interests (like the podcast). Frances believes that she made a mistake, which partly led to Carys disapperance, and trying to not make a smiliar mistake again  colors the rest of the book. The friendship between Frances and Cary is strange and reletable, Frances admits that she hated Cary for having it all figured out, but loved her for being so perfect.

the podcast universe city

I wasn’t so sure about the podcast part of this book before reading it. I love podcasts, but in general at some point writers could’ve just made the podcast in real life and not have us read it every awkward break or info dump. This book is centered around the podcast in that Frances and Aled finds each other through the making and fandom of it, both things done really well. There’s a chapter where they are having fun outside camping and makes what Aled considers the worst episode ever, but it was all so visually told and really brought out a certain feeling in the book.

 

Feelings reading this book: interest in where the podcast was going, glee over Frances becoming more comfortable, relatable af moments and strong hate for Aled and Cary’s mother.

 

SPOILERS BELOW

my fav moments

  • Frances discussing being bi and relationships of the Universe City podcast and Aled saying the world might be a bit tired of boy-girl relationships anyway. Them geeking out in general and allowing themselves to be “weird” aka being very passionate about things and fandom.
  • Going to save Aled from university. Also his mom was truly awful in one of the probably worst ways physiologically, because so many outside the house thought she was great. Reading Aled scream after going over to his mother to figure things out made my skin crawl.

Finally, I hated Cary when they all met her. I was certain she didn’t want to be found, but the way she reacted … She had worked out a pretty okay life for herself considering she escaped to the city with barely anything, though. She’d tried to leave her past behind, which I can understand. My immediate hate came from having a little brother though, but she didn’t have a perspective to mind to predict how her brother would be treated when she left. There’s a lot taken up in this book and I appreciated it.

 

The Unbinding of Mary Reade | Review

aquapages // eline1 Comment

by Miriam McNamara

Pages: 340

Genre: historical fiction, lgbt

 

 

Synopsis

A romantic novel based on the true story of a girl who disguised herself as a boy to sail with the infamous pirates Anne Bonny and Calico Jack—and fell in love with Anne Bonny.

There’s two parallell stories told, the first in 1717 of Mary Reade trying to please her wealthy grandma, dressing up as a boy to have a claim to be her heir. Her childhood friend and love is Nat. In 1719 we meet her again as she’s on a merchant ship, still passing as a boy, until it’s raided by pirates and she manages to join them. She joins after seeing Anne Bonny, the girl of the captain Jack, and becomes fascinated with this female pirate, with a sword and a gun in her hands. Sailing with a crew on the verge of another mutiny, she has to decide if she wants to reunite with Nat, side with the captain or risk everything by going for Anne.

 

My thoughts

Rating out of five: three stars

tre

This book is a romance, with little action. It has grime and darkness, but it feels like it’s put here obligatory to meet some minimum requirement of being a pirate novel. That said, one thing I found interesting about this book is Anne and Mary returning to Anne’s home, a settlement of religious people where her the husband she escaped from has gathered a lot of influence. Nat – Mary’s childhood crush – also have settled there and the two girls struggle under the mysogynistic principles and ideas of what a woman should be (definitely not a pirate and unmarried). They’re fighting for their independence, realizing they have little to stand up with and that they’re trapped. The hopelessness was so strong in these scenes and broke through the apathy I’d weirdly felt for the characters until that point.

 the characters

Well, I didn’t feel anything for the characters except Anne. Mary first describes her as a independent and fierce girl standing on the deck with a sword and pistol in hand, being the only woman on her crew. She comes soon to realize she’s only there because of Jack’s permission, everyone on the crew apparantly dislikes her for being a woman. Anne doesn’t feel very thought-through as a character, she’s very girly and whiny, it’s like being relatively free on the ship after being beaten by her husband in the town hasn’t changed her at all. There’s no development, she’s uncomplex and flat like many of the other characters. I feel the author adressed this at one point, having Mary notice how Anne was manipulating Jack by being sweet and kissy when Mary was in danger from him.

It’s this weird battle through the book of Anne wanting to be free and independent, not tied to any man, at the same time as she haven’t gathered any skills to make it on her own. Mary is sewing dresses, struggling as the town is considering her an unmarried whore who they need to reform. I so wish Anne had been written as girly, yes, but also a woman of skills and personality. If she was “broken” by her circumstances, make that something that lasts more than a couple paragraphs.

 

the romance

If you want your sapphic Mary and Anne pirate romance, my opinion is that the chemistry is barely there. Sure, it’s a lot of back and forth, proclaiming their love to each other, but I did not feel the romance. Protectiveness sure, towards the end.

 

their struggles

I’m seeing reviews that expected Mary to be trans, which I do not think was the intent of the book. She certainly struggles with her identity, trying to figure out what parts of her was acting. If you should expect anything from that part of the book, it is that Mary feels like something in between a woman and a man. Both she and Anne faces so much discrimination and little freedom, in different ways and I think the fact that they didn’t understand each other struggles were one of the more realistic things. One is claiming the other have it easier, until they realize they need to both escape.

 

The feeling this book gave me: it got an extra star for the fact that it made me shed a tear (it was 3 am and that’s my excuse) when it showed the hopelessness of the situation of Anne and Mary trying to be “correct” women and still being beaten for it. other than that i was bored much of the way through, considering to dnf it several times.

 

Thanks to the publisher for receiving this copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli | Review

aquapages // eline6 Comments

Genre: contemporary young adult, lgbt

Pages: 325

 

Synopsis

Sixteen-year-old and not-so-openly gay Simon Spier prefers to save his drama for the school musical. But when an email falls into the wrong hands, his secret is at risk of being thrust into the spotlight. Now Simon is actually being blackmailed: if he doesn’t play wingman for class clown Martin, his sexual identity will become everyone’s business. Worse, the privacy of Blue, the pen name of the boy he’s been emailing, will be compromised.

With some messy dynamics emerging in his once tight-knit group of friends, and his email correspondence with Blue growing more flirtatious every day, Simon’s junior year has suddenly gotten all kinds of complicated. Now, change-averse Simon has to find a way to step out of his comfort zone before he’s pushed out—without alienating his friends, compromising himself, or fumbling a shot at happiness with the most confusing, adorable guy he’s never met.

My thoughts

Rating out of five:

fem

“So here’s the thing: Simon means “the one who hears” and Spier means “the one who watches.” Which means I was basically destined to be nosy.”

It’s the best coming out story I’ve read, I think, and this is from a person who tries to avoid them. And it’s a book with so much more than that as well, with a main character with questions that everyone can see themselves in. It’s a young adult book that’s actually relatable to teenagers, not just filled with abbreviations like lmfao and things that seem like a parody of youth culture (on that thought – will tide pods every make it into a ya book?).

 

“But I’m tired of coming out. All I ever do is come out. I try not to change, but I keep changing, in all these tiny ways. I get a girlfriend. I have a beer. And every freaking time, I have to reintroduce myself to the universe all over again.”

Parts made me feel lonely along with the main character. Overall it has incredibly clever and witty writing. I loved the themes that comes up, especially Simon feeling like he was “not allowed to change”, as a person it’s easy to label your identity or have others do so to a fault, where you think you are the same as your interest or your habits, which you now can’t change. Identity is a weird concept in general, and this book put just how weird it is into words.

 

“He talked about the ocean between people. And how the whole point of everything is to find a shore worth swimming to. I mean, I just had to know him.”

The romance was pretty lovely as well, though the friendships takes more place in this book, along with the mystery of finding out who Blue is. I just love that there’s published more gay books all the time, especially cute ones along with all the angst. I’m looking forward to seeing the movie adaption soon.

 

more favourite quotes

But Creekwood’s zero tolerance bullying policy is enforced about as strictly as the freaking dress code.

In this moment, all I want is for things to feel like Christmas again. I want it to feel how it used to feel.

“I didn’t know you drink coffee.” Okay, this. She does this every freaking time. Both of them. They put me in a box, and every time I try to nudge the lid open, they slam it back down. It’s like nothing about me is allowed to change. “Well, I do.”

Nothing is worse than the secret humiliation of being insulted by proxy.