The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking | Review

Pages: 200

Genre: science – physics

Synopsis

A beautifully written book about our universe and how and why it was designed. It’s written for people of many different levels of knowledge of physics already, from short and clear explanations of atoms to mentioning a few things I personally need and want to look more into like string theory, bosons, where plancks constant comes from and Feynmans sum over histories. This is a book trying to give philisophical answers based on scientific history and theories. As the book says itself:

Why is there something rather than nothing?

Why do we exist?

Why this particular set of laws and not some other?”

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

I’ve honestly never read a full Stephen Hawking book, even though I take physics classes and am very interested in it. I was personally really surprised at how much I understood, that I’ve gone through in classes before and this book looked more at the “why” behind it, the connection that I so much love. This is the book you need to read if you’re interested in the how and why’s of the universe, no matter what level of understanding you’re at now! 

This book absolutely made me reflect on the nature of the universe, even though I already have some experience there. It also made me so very excited about learning more, and what we could find out in the future, with newer technology. Multi-verse and possibly no objective reality existing are examples of rabbit-holes of information and theories I love to fall into, so this book was ideal.

Favourite quotes

“While concending that human behaviour is indeed determined by the laws of nature, it also seems reasonable to conclude that the outcome is determined in such a complicated way and with so many variables as to make impossible in practice to predict.”

“[…] philosopher David Hume who wrote that although we have no rational grounds for believing in an objective reality, we also have no choice but to act as if it is true.”

“Such calculations show that a change of as little as 0.5 percent in the strength of the strong nuclear force, or 4 percent in the electric force, would destroy either nearly all carbon or all oxygen in every star, and hence the possibility of life as we know it. Change those rules of our universe just a bit, and the conditions for our existence disappear!”

“If the [M-] theory is confirmed by observation, it will be the successful conclusion of a search going back more than 3.000 years. We will have found the grand design.”

Lord of the Butterflies by Andrea Gibson | Review

Pages: 96

Genre: poetry, lgbt

Synopsis

In Andrea Gibson’s latest collection, they continue their artful and nuanced looks at gender, romance, loss, and family. Each emotion here is deft and delicate, resting inside of imagery heavy enough to sink the heart, while giving the body wings to soar.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: five

Be prepared to cry, I was definitely not and it took reading three poems for my eyes to start leaking, until I was a sobbing mess. This is what I want poetry to be, I was thinking over and over. I’d just put down another poetry collection that had important themes, but nothing new to convey, even through tough circumstances. Andrea Gibson is the opposite of that, they write poetry so filled with emotion that you can touch it, feel it around yourself.

It’s just such a strange mix of sweet, with stories of queer love, of incredibly traumatic events, with stories of being suicidal or loss, of hoplessness and hope as well. All the stories they had to tell got to me, especially of physical illness as it’s the one I’m most familiar with. One of personal goals this year is to find a better way to describe physical pain, which this did so incredibly well, along with emotional one. The stories are told in such a detailed and personal way, but at the same time putting words to more common emotions and situations brilliantly.

All my love to this poetry collection, I’ve definitely found a poet that will become one of my favourite. I’ll make sure to see it performed as spoken word pieces when I’m having a stable, good day because it took me thirty seconds out of five minutes to completely break down sobbing.

I received a copy through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Favourite quotes

“You’re in the 7th grade. You don’t even know you want a girlfriend. You still believe in the people who believe in Jesus, can’t even feel that desire through it’s hell threat.”

– YOUR LIFE by Andrea Gibson

[…] but secretly my favourite season is flu season. The season of proof that I’m tough as Christ forgiving the nails. The season everyone I love becomes a raging customer at the complaint counter of life, like their birth certificate were warranties, their bodies promised technology guaranteeing protection from all viruses. They break down, Nyquil drunk and say, I haven’t been able to exercise in three days. The last time I got the flu it took me three days to notice. I thought the pain was just the pain. […] Good god, there isn’t a healthy body in the world that is stronger than a sick person’s spirit. Thirty times last month I thought, I can’t do this another day. Thirty times last month I did it another day.”

– GENDER IS THE KEY OF LYME DISEASE by Andrea Gibson

“During the visit, my niece only broke once, and only when the guard rattled his keys and rushed her to finish hugging her mother, the nightstick of his voice cracking over their bleeding goodbye. I restrained my fist in my pocket but wanted to knock him back to his own mother’s arms, where he might grow into a man without a uniform over his chest.”

– BLACK AND WHITE ANGEL by Andrea Gibson

RESENTMENT (VERB)

1. Loading the past into a cannon and murder this year.

Also the poems IVY (with great last lines), PHOTOSHOPPING MY SISTER’S MUGSHOT, ORLANDO, HURT THE FLY, ALL THE GOOD IN YOU, GIVE HER (so damn sweet), UNTIL WE ACT, LIVING PROOF.

Let’s Start the New Year with an Update

These are usually bi-weekly, but the last one was end october.

Here’s my TBR of physical books that I probably should get through in 2019, so I’ve halfways committed to it:

New book posts:

Other books I’ve been reading:

  • La belle sauvage by Philip Pullman, 4/5 stars
  • Six easy pieces by Richard Feynman (currently)
  • At blackwater pond by Mary Oliver (currently)
  • The grand design by Stephen Hawking (currently)

DNF:

What if it’s us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli – I like fluffy, but this felt like a romance just describing everyday things. I wanted to like it so much, but it wasn’t for me and after the karaoke bar I was out

Added to my TBR:

  • The five stages of Andrew Brawley by Shaun David Hutchinson (queer ya)
  • The apocalypse of Elena Mendoza by
    Shaun David Hutchinson (queer ya)
  • Skyward by Brandon Sanderson (sci-fi)
  • Ender’s game by Orson Scott Card (sci-fi)
  • Emergency contact by Mary Choi (ya)
  • Circe by Madeline Miller (fantasy)
  • How the immune system works by Lauren M Sompayrac (science)
  • Immuno-biology by Charles Janeway (science)
  • By grand central station I sat down and wept by Elizabeth Smart (poetry)
  • The falconer by Elizabeth May (ya fantasy)
  • The armored saint by Myke Cole (fantasy)
  • No matter by Jana Prikryl (poetry)
  • The year of femme by Cassie Donish (poetry)

Recent book buys:

  • Elantris by Brandon Sanderson
  • These shallow graves by Jennifer Donnelly
  • The grand design by Stephen Hawkings
  • Netgalley: Monument by Natasha Trethewey
  • Netgalley: Lord of the butterflies by Andrea Gibson

Three things on my mind:

  • 2019 is the year of Change for me, where change will come whether I like it or not and I don’t yet know if it’s going to be net-positive or net-negative. Last year had it extreme bad times and also very-good times. So I’ve decided to embrace it, to throw myself into the ocean of change and see what happens.
  • Coffee is my new love. I got a moka pot and it’s been my savior for the end of december and the beginning of january so far.
  • Nearly every toilet visit ended with blood for the last week, and I’m not on my period. TMI I know, but that’s life with crohn’s. I need that change – whatever it is – to come soon, I think. I feel like in a good space right now, but also like I’m watching a house burn around me and not feeling the heat of the flames yet. In other words – hell is surely coming. I’ll read in the meantime. Cheers.

A Short Review & a DNF

Glass Moon by Megan Pollak

In this minimal poetry collection, there’s a lot of talk about dreamy eyes and the moon and universe, but not in a way that make real connection to nature nor symbolic ones. It doesn’t really tell me anything or convey much emotion. I think those who would like it need to be in an identical mindset of the author, whatever that is I can’t quite tell. 2/5 stars. I received this book through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

What if it’s Us by Adam Silvera and Becky Albertalli

I had my hopes up for this book because I’d heard it was a fluffy gay romance that a lot of people loved. The thing I realized is that I’m not a romance reader for a reason – the fact that it’s a much needed cute non-heterosexual romance made me get probably halfway in this book, which is further than I thought. I like these fluffy queer romances in between my action, a whole book is apparently too much for me, I’ve realized. I recommend it if you’re looking for a fluffy, cute, every-day romance that describes summer New York days and small concerns like summer school, exes and a row of not-ideal first dates that doesn’t stop this romance.  no rating because it obviously was just not for me 


My favourite books of 2018

It’s been quite a year for me, both good and bad. Not in order, a list of my favourite books of 2018 (also including some personal moments I had reading them):

The Way of Kings, Words of Radiance & Oathbringer by Brandon Sanderson:

Not all books of the same series! Just the best fantasy writer ever, in my opinion. The way Sanderson manages to write worlds with magic, politics and religion (including other mindset), asks questions that haunt your mind forever and write awesome characters is unbelievable.

Born a Crime by Trevor Noah: my review

The best memoir I’ve read, talking about upbringing in South Africa and showing what incredible story teller he is – along with some crazy stories he has.

A moment: I listened to the audiobook coincidentally while studying for this sociology test (well, more like sleeping instead of studying bc I was very ill) and long story short this book – and the facts about the eleven official languages and their ethnic groups – helped me nail the final sociology test.

Truly Devious by Maureen Johnson: my review

The most perfect young adult murder mystery I’ve ever read, as someone used to read a lot of them.

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman: my review

A great and gay young adult book. Alice Oseman is a new fav author this year, for good reason.

A moment: read this book under a blanket with tea, which is the optimal (reading) state of being.

An Absolutely Remarkable Thing: my spoiler-free and spoiler review

Hank Green’s debut sci-fi novel blew me away.

The Book of Dust by Philip Pullman:

I had to read this quickly and thoroughly, to see if it changed my view of the golden compass (it did) and therefore the essay I was writing for class. Still enjoyed it immensely, which really says something as I was stressed the fuck out.

A moment: was stressing the fuck out while reading it, still loved the book

Honorable mention #1: The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid was so well-done, realistic and amazing. 

Honorable mention #2: I’m currently reading & loving The Grand Design by Stephen Hawking, Six Easy Pieces by Richard Feynman and listening to Mary Oliver reading her poetry out loud – all of these three would be on this list if I’d finished them.

Here’s all the 60 books I’ve read in 2018- click on them for a better look

The Poet X by Elizabeth Acevedo | Review

Pages: 370

Genre: Poetry, young adult, lgbt characters

Synopsis


A young girl in Harlem discovers slam poetry as a way to understand her mother’s religion and her own relationship to the world. 

Xiomara Batista feels unheard and unable to hide in her Harlem neighborhood. Ever since her body grew into curves, she has learned to let her fists and her fierceness do the talking.

But Xiomara has plenty she wants to say, and she pours all her frustration and passion onto the pages of a leather notebook, reciting the words to herself like prayers—especially after she catches feelings for a boy in her bio class named Aman, who her family can never know about. With Mami’s determination to force her daughter to obey the laws of the church, Xiomara understands that her thoughts are best kept to herself.

So when she is invited to join her school’s slam poetry club, she doesn’t know how she could ever attend without her mami finding out, much less speak her words out loud. But still, she can’t stop thinking about performing her poems.

Because in the face of a world that may not want to hear her, Xiomara refuses to be silent.
 

The audiobook

The narrator was fantastic, some of the best I’ve ever heard. And of course she was, I thought as I realized towards the end it was the author and slam poet Elizabeth Acevedo narrating the audiobook as well. I fully recommend listening to it! As the book is written in verse/poems (hard to say having only listened to it), it’s “only” three and a half hours as well, completely worth it.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: four

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It’s a strong and beautiful story of a quiet girl finding her voice, letting out all the thoughts she’s not been allowed to tell and finding good friends, through slam poetry. She’s growing and finding her way to deal with romance, family, religion and need for a bit of freedom. 

It’s obvious reading/listening to the book that the author knows what she’s writing. She’s a slam poet, she’s seen people find their voice through it most likely. The way she tells the story is stunning, from the first page I was sold. This is the way to tell that story. 

There’s not much else for me to say about this book, which is rare. It’s more young adult novel than I realized going into it, and I would absolutely recommend giving it to young girls. I became a bit frustrated in the middle part of the book, when Xiomara wasn’t doing poetry out of fear, and nothing moved along. Had to realize the story isn’t something unexpected – the plot is only going one way – but it’s still important and told great. What really brought me in again was Xiomara and the mom coming to the height of their conflict, and how impactful the writing was in that moment. The ending was very wholesome, setting the tone of the whole book’s message. It’s so tough being a kid with little control over your own life, trying to find it as you’re becoming older, with opinions of your own. This book conveyed that.   

Dread Nation by Justina Ireland | Review

I haven’t written a review in a month and a half, so I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten how to.

Pages: 418

Genre: young adult, historical fiction, zombies

Synopsis

Jane McKeene goes to Miss Preston’s School for Combat in Baltimore because zombies have taken over the cities and girls like Jane are needed to stop them. The civil war of America never really ended, the two sides needed to decide the undead had become their biggest enemy. Being the coloured daughter of a white Southern woman has always made Jane’s life difficult, but now people with her skin is treated like they’re disposable, fighting the undead to protect wealthy white people. With her curiousity, spontaneity and fighting skills Jane is caught up in a big conspiracy as families in the town are going missing and certain political groups are promising the return to safety.

My thoughts

Rating out of five: three

I’d heard a lot of good words before the release of this book and was pretty excited to read about zombies and girls who are awesome at fighting with weapons. My opinions on this book is kind of mixed, both because of not personally matching with the surrounding plot and other things that confused me. It’s still a book I would recommend!

My big problem with historical books and westerns – which this book was going towards the last half – is that it’s so boring to read over and over that the girl is constantly put down. Like there’s no feminism, we get it, stop mixing it into every other sentence. And this book created this balance so well, it made points out of how different this society was from ours, without making it completely unenjoyable reading experience, because Jane and her friends were awesome girls who knew their courage and value. The way it dealt with racism was the same, in that racism was everywhere, as it was one of the main parts of the story. But you still got to see these pockets of coexistence carved out, like the estate Jane left, and how horrifically it could go when someone bigoted and racist was introduced to them. There’s so many horrifyingly racist scenes in here, showing how it tears at the characters, and I think that’s very well done and important.

I love politics in books, usually. But I don’t think this book went deep enough that it mattered much. I’m still confused about how I feel about thins. Maybe I feel like the book alluded to things all the time, but I didn’t really get any message from it except maybe how quick racism can develop in crises when someone need to be blamed and how dangerous division is. It’s certainly a book with a awesome, black heroine. It’s not just a book about zombies, though, but it didn’t quite switch over to politics within the story and like the bigger conspiracies either. I think the mix is what I didn’t like personally – it goes from mystery and boarding school to sudden danger and a more western-like survival story with religious fundamentalists everywhere to full-on war with zombies. With funny, snarky Jane moments sprinkled in there. It sounds interesting, but it’s a lot. While I liked some parts, it felt like others weren’t completely cohesive, which contributed to the feeling of it being a lot put into one book.

I’ll most likely read the next book because I’m curious about where it’s going to go, with Jane and Katherine. I liked Jane sometimes, but the mix of grave danger and humor makes me compare her to like Percy Jackson-type lead characters. I can’t really think of any flaws Jane has that messes up or otherwise interact with the story. Like she talks back to teachers, that’s it. She always takes charge, to great sucess, and while it was a relief to see things go down well, the knowledge that it would because of her drew me out of the story.

Exciting Book Releases 2019 (part 1)

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The Wicked King by Holly Black

Release date: 8. January 2019

Why I want to read it: It’s the sequel to The Cruel Prince, where no character were good and I fell in love with Jude. She revealed a lot on the end of the first book, which sets this one up for success, I hope.

 

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Heartstopper Vol. 1 by Alice Oseman

Release date: fall of 2018, but I knew of it just to late and book depository aren’t selling it before

Why I want to read it: everything Alice does seems to turn into magic and by what I’ve seen, this seems like no exception

 

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The Vanishing Stair (Truly Devious #2) by Maureen Johnson

Release date: 22. January 2019

Why I want to read it: I’ve read Deathless by the author and liked it, as the sequel isn’t due any time soon, I’ll definitely pick up this book. And the name!

 

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On The Come Up by Angie Thomas

Release date: 5. February 2019

Why I want to read it: The Hate U Give, the author’s first book, blew me away.

 

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The Truth About Keeping Secrets by Savannah Brown

Release date: 7. February 2019

Why I want to read it: I’ve been following Savannah Brown for a couple years and I’m so excited for her debut novel!

 

 

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Storm Cursed (Mercy Thompson #11) by Patricia Briggs

Release date: 5. March 2019

Why I want to read it: Do I actually want to? I love Mercy Thompson, but every storyline is already used it seems like. This might be the last book I’m reading about her. and promised lots of queer-ness

Bookish Items on My Wishlist | Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by That Artsy Reader Girl to bring bookish friends together. A new topic is posted each week.

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Harry Potter inspired magical wand T-shirt (is also available as a pin)

“Still I rise” by Maya Angelou pin (also available as tshirt)

Nevermore raven pin from Edgar Allan Poe

Frankenstein pin – all by Literary Emporium

 

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I’ve actually bought this Slytherin-inspired kindle case, Klevercase has it for several models.

 

 

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Literary cat pin

You’re tea-rific teacup pin

Lumos pin – all three from justinegilbuena on etsy

 

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LiliLite bookshelf with light that turns off when you put a book upside down on it

 

And finally we have quite the meme –

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The prism glasses for all your lazy or sick in bed needs!

Do I want to watch Fantastic Beasts 2?

Visually it seems stunning –

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a bit of background

Harry Potter was a series I loved growing up and still do. I was so quickly immersed in that universe and while it wasn’t these books that got me into fantasy, like with many others, I certainly was introduced to liking the universe as well – memorizing spells and fan theories and non-canon storylines. There were so many talented, and funny, fans that when “Cursed Child” came out I was screaming in horror. What the actual fuck was that plot? It made me lose all trust in more hp content. I don’t think I even did a review, because it was such a mess that I’ve mostly deleted it from my mind. I mean here’s my thoughts on cursed child summed up in something that happened this week –

Friend: “How many hp books are there really?”

Me: “Seven of the main series, and three others about quidditch, fantastic beasts and tales of beedle the bard”

Other hp fan: “Well, actually cursed – ”

Me: “NOPe, not that one.” Lots of glaring. Realising cursed child is basically Voldemort in that it shouldn’t be named.

 

ANyway – back to fantastic beasts

I liked fantastic beasts 1 as a movie. It was set in a different time, which made it less of a “threat” to the original work. I was excited to see the creatures come to life. How it was shot and the cinematics I thought were beautiful, even though it gave me “alice in wonderland” vibes sometimes. The story itself was just boring and bland. 

When I finished the hp series the first time I wanted to know so much more about the characters and the universe. There existed wikis to check for every canon detail, there were as I said before tons of fan-theories and soon the collective imagination gave stories either for the original harry, hermione and ron’s future, their parents generation’s past or plotholes that appeared. J K Rowling has tried to fill every plot-hole in that series since, even the cultural “missings” like diversity. But fans already adopted these characters in so many ways, including writing an asian harry or darker skinned hermione. I do get angry at J K trying when throwing out things like Dumbledore was gay from the start, to write that in with nothing new backing it up. It would’ve been okay to me if the fantastic beasts team decided to write it in this film, making it one of the major points. And I’m kind of interested to see if they do, if they dare take any turns from the original universe and make itself worth being spoken about as its own series.

Someone told me there would be five fantastic beasts films yesterday, while we were discussing this upcoming film. My immediate reaction “they’re trying so hard to grab all the money they can”. The fact is that with the budget and the available talent these movies should be great! I think they’re too limited in chances they’re willing to take and creative space they’re willing to lend to writers, because I’m seeing little interesting (from the first movie at least). I do want to watch it – to see if this one is better – but it feels like I’m setting myself up for failure here.

These movies are too early for playing on nostalgia (like star wars reboot does for many) and too late for being a natural extension of the harry potter universe, giving answers fans like me wanted at that time and filling the hole it left after it was finished. Still don’t know if I should see Fantastic Beast. My friend listened to most of this and concluded that she still wanted more of the hp universe. I’m not so sure.